Soak it in

The lake, the valley, the mountains, the heat. On the morning of the one year anniversary of my pacemaker surgery I woke up, brushed my teeth, looked out the window at the blue lake, and then my tears started to flow. They were unexpected. Bittersweet tears. The last year of my life has been hard physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I was tested brutally. The tears were a mix of triumph and sadness. I had made it through. A phone call to my Mom gave me so much comfort. I have learned many things over the last year but none more than to live in the moment. This has been my challenge to myself. Be present. Love it. So everyday I try to savor each moment. I think I have been doing really good. These are some of my favorite moments: yesterday when my sister and I layed in bed to take a nap and kicked our feet around in the blankets and giggled, checking on Maddie every night, looking at the faces of my loved ones as we watched Dad and Kris get married in front of the Tetons, watching my Dad dance with Maddie in her Converse high tops that night, hopping on the back of a 4 wheeler with my husband and driving to the top of a mountain all while loving the feel of the sun on our faces, drinking that first dirty coke and everyone after, taking an impromptu walk on a trail that was over run with water, eating dinner on the deck everynight with the red and white checked tablecloth, hearing the law mowers, walking and walking and walking and feeling my heart pound, cloud gazing, oh the cloud gazing, laying in the backyard in the grass with my husband which turned into a game of me throwing peach pits at him, watching a dancing horse in Park City and letting him make me cry, going to the movie with my family and holding hands with my sister and my husband cause it was that intense, really looking at nature and being awestruck everytime, riding a chairlift up a glorious mountain, spending the night in a fancy hotel with fancy robes that we wore to the hot tub, laughing with Maddie in the car about absolutly nothing, sleeping over at my Mom's house and watching Gladitor, making cookies with little Kate, snuggling Lola, doing sparklers on the 4th of July with lots of friends, going on a bike ride with my husband that was way to hard for me and watching him push both bikes home for us and his total patience, knowing that my husband is the exact man that I need to be with, swimming in Bear Lake with my husband, swimming in Bear Lake with my Dad and him towing my around on his back like I was five, watching fireworks sitting next to Grandma Chapman and every time she saw one she liked she would lift and point both of her legs in excitement, singing in the car with Maddie, telling her that I love her with all my Mommy heart, my Dad everything about him, when I think of my life the tears of gratitude that come to my eyes . I have found so many amazing moments that most people just gloss over. I consider my self lucky. I intend to keep taking my opportunities and living in the moment. At the end of my life I want to be so soaked up with all of my life moments that no one will be able to lift me up and they will say "She lived in each moment! She cherished her time here!!"