Let it go

I have been wanting to write this for a few days. I need to get it out. Let it go. I have some letting go to do. I like to think that I can let things bounce off me, but I am really not that good sometimes. The art of deflecting the negative is something I need to work on.  My heart is on my sleeve, though I wonder if that is a good place for it. Maybe it needs to be frozen. It's either hot or cold with me, I have no in between. That is a fault of mine. Where is that middle line where I can just put up a shield and save my feelings from being hurt? I am working on it. So for now I realize that some people just want you to be a certain way and it really gets them twisted when you are not. There is a part of my life that is over. It can not be rescued. It was fatally injured, but I am somehow certain that it was always destined to play out this way. Relief is the honest emotion I feel. The weight of it has almost been lifted, only not all the way. It is not that I am trying to fix the damage but that I am wanting to seal my self from further damage. Events keep happening that hurl objects of damage at my shield. My first instinct is to fight and stick up for myself. That drains my energy and focus. The other instinct is to become cold and unfeeling. That is not my normal self. See, it's either hot or cold. Still there is another path, let it go. Move on.  Live your life. Be you. This is the path I must chose. I have to turn away from the damage and keep my head up. There will always be a fire burning in that direction that I leave behind but I will no longer try to stop it. I am strong enough to shield the heat. There was no way to save it, no different ending. It was bound for this. So here I am, ready to finally stop worrying. Enough. I don't have to explain anything, ever again. Breathe in new, breathe out old. Gone. Let it go.