Problem/Triumph

My arms stretched and my legs balanced my body. I bent into another shape and let out a long breath. Yoga was connecting me to myself this morning. My mind shifted and shifted around again. I was restless. He could tell I was steaming. He took me to the mountains. Outside the air was alive. The sky was the blue that you dream about. Way off in the distance the clouds lined up end upon puffy end.  My angry mind began to lose it's flame. Feet to dirt, blood pumping, thumping chest, eyes searching. A rhythm was born. This hike would not have been possible a year ago. I thought of my body, my spirit and my journey. Tears came with a triumphant smile. Yes, I could do this hike now. I thanked God, my body, heart, spirit, and the guy hiking along side me. The forever patient man who saw me through. Birds fluttered about us. A mother deer and her babies watched us. The sun, oh the glorious sun washed over my face. How I needed the glow it brought to my soul. We fell into a silent pace back to the truck. My mind was a little more settled but I still had a problem bouncing around. When we found ourselves back home I could feel my problem following me. The truth is, it has been for some time now. I wrestle and fight this almost daily. It causes me anxiety on top of anxiety. This problem can not continue for one more day. I could feel myself slipping into a hole that is so deep it scares me. Pulling back from the edge takes skill and guidance. Luckily I had both tonight. After the house was settled into a slumber, I found my patient man. We had the conversation I needed. It pulled me back. I resolved to be better. I vowed to gather myself up for the fight ahead of me. It was all going to be alright. So now I find myself exhausted and hopeful at the same time. The bed is calling me, the sanctuary it provides. So with a hopeful heart that I can make another journey that will be hard, I am climbing into bed. I can do hard things. I have done hard things.


                          "We made it out to the other side, we can escape to the great sunshine"